I Must Get Into That Spot

I must get into that spot.
I'll wriggle and I'll worm,
and I'll squiggle and I'll turn,
for I must get into that spot!

It's only six inches by four,
but between you and me, this is war!
I'll knock over your drink,
and push by in a blink,
for I must get into that spot!

I know I'll be blocking the door,
and really there's room for no more,
but I'll step on your wife,
don't give us no strife,
for I must get into that spot!

I must get into that spot.
I'll charge like a Bull,
barge you into the wall
for I must get into that spot!

I suppose you'd consider it rude,
but that's my imperative mood,
I'll stamp on your feet,
and I won't keep it neat,
for I must get into that spot!

O what do you expect me to say?
"I'm sorry I got in your way"?
No, I'll laugh and I'll snort,
Shout - "You're a venerial wart!"
For I must get into that spot!

I must get into that spot.
I'll climb and I'll choke,
I'll slime and I'll poke,
for you see;
one simply and absolutely,
most definitely
and emphatically
determinedly and positively,
without questions of morality,
must
get into that blasted spot!

The Grammar W'nker

The Grammar W*nker

This Monstrous fiend normally goes
by the name of Carol or Ben.

They insist you address them
in correct form,
or else they kick off
a most unpleasant storm.
They walk with their noses high in the air,
their eyes pointing down,
And God forbid, if you misuse a noun!

They've added Stephen Fry to their friends,
just so they look smart,
but sadly
they don't quite
understand the arts.
Contractions, conjunction , commas and case
are far better to them than an imaginary place.

Reading this verse, they have cried: "What could be worse!"

But I know their weak spot, and I am willing to share...
Its not punctuation or the wrong choice of their....

It can reduce them to tears, an emotional mess...
For its a Supermarket sign; "Ten items or less"